Project 365

I’ve been taking pictures long before I ever had a camera. There’s something about looking through one and capturing a memory that is just a really personal experience for me. When I first started this project it was because I had just gotten a new camera and I thought it was a good excuse to start taking more pictures in my life and making those mental pictures more tangible. At first it was the funniest picture that would get the most comments that mattered but eventually it started changing. Many times I would see something and think: "man, I wish I had my camera for that" and would close my eyes and capture it with my own personal one. This challenge helped me love Edmonton falls, enjoy riding across the river on the LRT after it's just snowed, and see how beautiful the people around me are. I love that I can look back over the almost five thousand pictures I took last year and remember every single day, mostly laughing while I do. It makes me more grateful for the fun I have in my life and more often than not motivates me to do something so I can make a memory to remember.

It’s helped me relax when I felt like my life was a disaster because I learned how to step back, laugh, and take a picture. Even a few days ago as Jace puked all down my top I quickly told my sister to grab the camera and take a picture thinking it would be a great picture of the day until I realized my resolution was over. Taking that halt from hysterics for one second helped me realize just how humorous the situation was and someday when I look back at that picture of me gagging with puke all over me I'll think, "Oh yeah, that day was Talan's 4th birthday, that was when my mom took someone else's shoes home instead of hers, and that was when Jace decided I was the perfect target for his projectile vomit.”

 This project has gotten me in trouble, like the time I tried to sneakily take a picture of a homeless man and the flash accidentally went off and he started running after me yelling. It’s frustrated me as I struggled to remember which picture went with which day and definitely annoyed with how tedious it was to have to worry about making sure I had taken one every single day. I would say 40% of the time I did this I hated it more than anything, but for some reason I couldn’t give up. I didn’t want someone to approach me and say: “Oh why did you stop doing that little project of yours?” To help myself I’d remember all my favorite pictures and all the times people asked if they could have one of my pictures. I’m not one to keep them from people so to all my sisters whose children I’ve taken thousands of pictures of; you’re welcome to them all. I’m happy to say I finished and I’m sad to say goodbye to my resolution but it’s time for me to work on other things this year. I still get a flit of anxiety every night and ask myself if I took a picture that day, but now I’m comforted when I realize that even though I did they weren’t for anyone or because I felt obligated, they were for me and the people I love. The day that changes and this feels like a task rather than a pleasure will be the day I put my beautiful (and hopefully by then upgraded) camera down and walk away from it until things change. Until then though, I’ll continue pressing that button and remembering everything I have.