The Remedy To My Midlife Crisis

Some call me a hypochondriac, but I call myself aware. The other day I looked up the signs of a midlife crisis, it made me almost certain that at the ripe age of 20 I'm experiencing such. I've always been old for my age so I'm really not all that surprised by this... Does this mean that I'm dying at 40 then? I never really understood that.


Signs I'm having a Midlife Crisis:

1. Change for the sake of change. I feel so restless lately, like I'm just being idle with my life. I need to switch things up, and fast.

2. Impulsive behavior and impetuous decisions, especially about money and/or their career. Who needs education, I just want to travel the world! New outfit? Sure why not. Rihanna concert instead of paying off school? Ya, throw that in there too. While I'm at it why don't I just go get a degree in philosophy (or something equally as useless), who needs a career!

3. Changes in the sexual relationship. Uhh... I keep having dreams where I'm kissing really old celebrities? Let's just say that counts.

4. Sudden obsession with appearance and spending inordinate amounts of time in the mirror. This is the big one my friends. Yesterday I found a grey hair in the mirror while I was trying to decide what to do with my new acne. Can someone explain this to me? I have never gotten a zit in my life but now I have acne and grey hair to boot. My body doesn't know how old it is; I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM. 

5. Excessive reminiscing about their youth and previous loves. This one can mostly just go to the fact that I'm single and most of my friends aren't.

6. Increase in alcohol consumption. I've been eating more mini-chocolate bars than ever; they're my whiskey.

7. Sleeping more, loss of appetite, and general malaise. I can't wake up before 9 for the life of me and the other day I turned down cake...?


As I wrote that out I realized I might just be a tad bit dramatic. In all seriousness though, can all you people older than twenty explain my sudden depression with life? I have never felt so useless and unmotivated before. It's making me question every choice I make lately. Should I go back to school? Do I still wanna stay in my program? Can I pull off red lipstick? Should I dye my hair brown? Man, life decisions I tell ya!


Just in case this was the real thing though, I followed suit like old men buy fancy new cars, and got one of these. It's really helping; I feel so alive! 

At first, I was skeptical and didn't wanna follow the instragram loving, iface fat using crowd but now I'm a believer. I will never go back to anything else. I feel bad since I got a camera for Christmas and I haven't used it since I got this, but I just love that I can snap a pic that doesn't look half bad whenever and make myself look fat, old, or bald. Plus, what would I do without plants vs. zombies, or solitaire, when I'm crazy bored? I'm really improving in my game too. Look at this solitaire time and moves ladies and gentlemen:

holla!

And here are some pics from the weekend.

We rode a dinghy and I'm still burnt and peeling.

Oh, and P.S. I'm loving scrabble lately. This is an epic game I played against Scott. OMG is right tile board!

Dance Dance and Jo-Hans

My mom is a little dancer. She has this one move she calls "The Stroke Dance". 

Yes, she does mean stroke as in the disturbance of blood flow to the brain that often results in a lack of movement on one side of the body. It's really quite a treat, especially when I'm sitting in my bed at night and she comes in doing it. Enjoy.

I wrote this post about my friend Jordan on her birthday but didn't post it... I felt like it today.

We have been friends since the ripe age of 4 when I moved to Magrath. Jo and I are really alike in some ways and really different in others.

We live just around the corner from each other, our mothers used to dress us identical when we would sing at ward parties, we were always dance duet partners, and with our birthdays 5 days apart we even had joined parties.We were usually around the same height, always using the same phrases, and at times even similar hair, like when we both had perms in grade 4 (cuuuuute),  until Jordan's "hansen brothers" haircut in grade 7 (sorry, i couldn't resist).  I remember when we used to go swimming people would come up and ask us if we were twins. I don't think it's because we look a like but because if you're around us enough you start noticing we have really similar mannerisms. We laugh loud; we snort; we burp like nobody's business.

 I love cats and she's allergic to them, though that never stopped her from still sleeping over even if she'd sneeze the entire time. When we walk into a mall Jordan automatically takes my wallet in her purse because she knows I'll lose it. She's responsible with her things, whereas I can't even carry a purse. Jordan's all about the adventure and I'm the stickler afraid to break the rules.

When something exciting happens all we have to do is text: "I have stories" and the other automatically stops what they're doing to hear the news. Jo has seen me cry more than anyone else, which everyone who knows me knows is a rare thing... until lately (I blame it on relief society!). I remember in high school there was this girl who despised me and one day I was venting to my friends. Jo just simply said, "Well, I don't like her. If she doesn't like you I don't like her." I think to this day she still doesn't like her haha. She's got my back.

I have all my best memories with this girl.

Oh, and P.S. my mom and I saw a movie tonight and there were dance moves like this on it. Direct quote from my mom (in a serious tone): "I really like those dance moves!" haha she's so cute.

Ridin' Dirty

I think my parents feel bad about how pathetic my life is right now because...

Look what my mom brought home yesterday! Remember a while back when everyone bought bikes like this? It drove me nuts because it was such a fad. Now I'm taking back all the eye rolling I did that summer because I have actually ended up loving mine. The seat is so wide and luxurious and I've been day dreaming for the past two days about carrying a little picnic and white kitten in that basket. 

I now understand everyone's love. I'm not following the fad if it's a gift though, right? Oh well, I love my new riiiiide. Yesterday I rode around town feeling very Zooey Deschanel-esque off 500 Days of Summer.

Oh, and P.S. don't mind the gloves, I had been weeding. Or the hair... I haven't showered all week. When all you do is watch the game show network and eat lunch with your mom there isn't much need to.

This Is What Happens

When Kelsey meets Instagram on her phone. It's an instant love affair.

haha

I had to show my ugly nail polish.

It's kept me company these past few unemployed days. Thanks buddy, you're a true friend.

You know who else are true friends? These ladies.

...And the ones not shown in this picture- this is the only one thats recent.

 I love them all. 

A few took me to ice cream for my birthday and even though after I left them I had a quarter life crisis (or a 1/5 life crisis if we're going to optomistic) in the Shopper's parking lot, which we shall never speak of again (I'm afraid of aging ok?), I know I always have my girls. 

I Love:

My mom. I know the day has passed but I just want to say I love her. She is the sweetest, funniest, most amazing woman around. I know every one thinks that of their mom... But then they meet mine and agree she's the best (I wish I was joking ;) ). She loves everyone and can carry a conversation like nobody's business. I always mention I'm her daughter when meeting someone because then they automatically like me, and let me say I haven't met that many people down here who don't know her. She is adorable and strong (physically and emotionally; I have yet to beat her in a wrestle). She's the best grandma around and I love her. What mom other than my own would give ME presents on Mother's Day and be okay that I gave her peelers? (I'm a very practical gift giver haha) She also made a sign for my birthday sunday dinner that says "Birthday's a plenty, Kelsey is 20!" hahaha. She is so cute. I love the moms in my life. My beautiful sisters, my cute grandmas, and my mother. Mother's Day has always been special because often my birthday dinner or actual birthday fall on it and I see my mom in action feeding 20 people on a day where she deserves to relax. I love mothers I think there's no higher calling for a woman.

Just a side note, I'm 20 today. Let's hope this birthday picks up because I didn't sleep all night and have been sick this morning. :) Maybe it's a sign of old age? I definitely noticed a difference in myself when I looked in the mirror this morning.

Oh, and P.S. how cute is this girl? I get to live with her next year! yaaaa!

aaaaand it looks like i'm going to be getting braces again. third time's a charm!

The Book of Awesome

Since moving home my days have consisted of me dying of boredom watching Family Feud... unless I really wanna spice things up and I turn to Million Matchmaker. I'm someone who likes to be busy so I haven't been the happiest camper lately. To cheer myself up I bought the Book of Awesome two weekends ago. It's a book made from a blog by a guy who's life seemed to be falling apart. In order to cheer himself up he started writing a thousand things in life that were AWESOME, like parking lot pull throughs or when you find your keys after looking for forever. I've always thought most blogs were pretty silly (yet I have one?), but this guy shows that some can actually be for good. I think everyone should aspire to have their blogs like this. Here's what I've thought has been awesome lately:

1. I watched Quigley Down Under for the first time since I was a kid. Oh Tom Selleck, what great one-liners come out of moustached mouth of yours: "That little boy been eating like his belly button been rubbin' a blister on his backbone."

2. Don't you love when you walk into someone's room and their mirror isn't straight up against the wall? Slanted mirrors are a gift from heaven. They make your legs look longer and leaner and give you hope in wearing your tightest jeans again. So take those mirrors of those walls ladies and look your best!

3. Actors who before they became famous were in really embarrassing commercials. Cool fact, Courtney Cox was the first person to ever say period on tv! haha.

The Evangeline Lily commercial is my personal favorite. I feel like she really gives hope to all those late night "single's phone line" ladies that they may just get their big break too. Inspiring.

4. When you're visiting at someone's house and you go to eat breakfast and they have all of your favourite cereal.

Is there any better way to start your day? I think not.

5. When normal people have names of funny celebrities. The other day a lady on an ITT-Tech commercial was named Diana Ross and then I met another girl named Pamela Anderson. It was such a treat.

6. When you realize you haven't worn makeup for a couple weeks and you have gotten used to how you look without it. Another personal favorite is celebrities without make up on.

Sorry Goldie Hawn. Is it just me or does she kinda look like Jack Nicholson?

7.  When 14 year old girls start their own "photography business". Why yes, you are legitimate because you used a paint program and wrote your name on a picture. Haha, adorable!

8. This video. Suck it Jack Layton! 

Oh, and P.S. Check out Neil Pasricha on TED. AWESOME!