Rats In The Cellar

Have you ever heard of C.S. Lewis' Rats in the Cellar? I read it in a spiritual thought a while ago and this week has been reminding me of it. To explain briefly, C.S. Lewis makes the analogy of people and their weaknesses to rats in the cellar and how when we turn on the cellar light suddenly we see the rats scatter at the bottom as opposed to have the light always on and simply walking down seeing nothing. He explains that who we are is how we react when caught by surprise. Our poor qualities are exposed just like how the rats are when the light is turned on unexpectedly. "Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is." 


The first few days of this week I have had a moment every day that shows the ill-tempered person that I am. Sunday morning I got a car stuck before church, which resulted in me being late for sacrament and muttering angrily the whole way after I had tried specifically to be on time. Yesterday the same thing happened again as I was heading to a class. Today I misread a deadline for an application for school and thought I had missed it, resulting in me having a complete mental breakdown.


Every time one of those things happened I didn't even think twice about how I was handling things and think, "Ok this isn't going to ruin my life I can figure this out". Instead I looked upward and asked: "Why me? Does this have to happen right now? Why are you so unfair?" I would then continue to cry about how hard my life was and throw a little tantrum.


Today though, I realized something; my life isn't hard. My home isn't being swept away by a tsunami, my family is safe, I live in a free country where I get to go to school. If anything I should be looking up with gratitude that these are the kind of things I'm having to deal with lately. I'm ashamed at what a brat I am some days... ok most days... everyday? And even though I was alone all those times, it doesn't matter that no one saw it, it matters that it happened. I will be the first to admit my rats, or weaknesses, are not well hidden and I don't have very much control over them.


 "But the suddenness does not create the rats:  it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man:  it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am.  The rats are  always there  in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light."


Oh, and P.S. This blows my mind. Japan Tsunami footage.