These Are My Confessions

My confession is that the only time I blog is when I'm taking a break from studying. There, I said it! I rarely think about what I'm going to say! You've caught me! I am really boring!

Ok, that wasn't a confession. Let's think of it more as an excuse for my lack of originality and excitement. I wish I could tell you I have something up my sleeve but I don't have anything to excite you and entice you and... (another 'e' word that goes along with that) you... Exhilarate? Nailed it!

So, It was my sister's birthday this week. Happy Birthday Angie! Since I don't have facebook these days I don't have any other way of being publicly thankful for my mother birthing her. For some reason Angie is the sister I remember the most as a child. Weird, right? It's scary how little I remember. I remember her taking me shopping and buyng me my favourite outfit, sitting in her apartment and watching Fried Green Tomatoes, and when she had Konner and he was a really big baby and it scared me so much I vowed to myself that day I would be at least eighteen before I had one. Still going strong without one! haha. Anyways I love my little Ang, she is the sweetest lady around. Look how cute she is! She's artistic, thoughtful, and someone you wish was pocket size so you could carry them around with you.

haha.. I love Ryker's face in the front. 

Something else I've been thinking a lot about lately is criticism. Living in a house of six girls I can't even tell you the amount of "observations" we make every day.

 "Look at this picture on Facebook, she has gained so much weight."

"I bet it's from the break up."

"I wonder why he broke up with her?"

"She was probably a psycho, I mean from what I've seen."

(that was a hypothetical conversation... just in case you were wondering.)

Come on, admit it, we've all been guilty. I'm guilty a lot. So last night as I was thinking about this I also thought how regularly I criticize. I kept thinking about all the negative things I'm saying every single day and then the phrase I've heard my whole life came to mind. 

Fake it 'til you make it. 

That sounds like an instant failure right? How can someone become a nice person if it's not genuinely from the heart? Well I'll give you a far-fetched example.

I'm in an Educational Psychology class about education and society. I have about 60-80 pages a day of readings just for the class and if you don't do the them you will, guaranteed, fail it. The text is really really dry and is packed full with case studies and stats, and I can honestly say that I was almost in physical pain the entire time I did those readings. One day I decided that I was going to psych myself out of hating this class. "I love educational psychology! This stuff is so interesting!" I would tell myself everyday before I'd crack open the pages. When I'd come to a case study I would say to myself, "This is so interesting! I never knew that had such an effect on blah blah blah!" I was constantly boosting myself. Whenever I'd have a chance I would talk about this class with anyone so that by teaching it I would learn it better (side note: you retain 98% of all that you teach. So if you're studying grab someone and start teaching it to them). I would sound super excited and try to make them interested in the material just so I would in return be interested. I felt retarded at first because I knew deep down I hated this material more than I hated toe socks, but suddenly over the past month I've gone from a deep hate to really enjoying this class. I wish I could write a whole blog post just on what I've learned. I've come to love ed psych, even if I had to trick myself into it.

Going from that, there are a lot of people I really just do not like. Everyone has that kind of person that annoy them to no end. I know I'm definitely that to some people. The key I think though is to psych yourself out. "Ok, she annoys me but she can be really good at... and I like this and this." Just fake it until you make it. Look for the good in people and in situations until you can finally see it without effort. You cannot become something until you at first try being it.

Alright, that's all my thoughts for today.