Lucky

I am the world's biggest procrastinator. If I can put something off, I will without a doubt do such. I don't really know why. Maybe it's because I'm afraid that if I dedicate myself to something I'm responsible for it?  Maybe,  but I'm leaning more towards just being lazy. I'm lucky enough that I've mastered my technique a little bit because so far I've accomplished most of what I've wanted in life with as little effort or future planning as possible. I signed up for my classes the day before possible and somehow ended up with an awesome schedule, I left my final essay until the night before and somehow scored having my topic be on the birth of christ which I've been taught since nursery, and more recently I put off finding a place to live in Edmonton only to somehow end up in an amazing house of girls. 

Why am I so lucky? I have no idea. I do not deserve it in anyway. So, today in Relief Society when the lesson was on procrastination, I couldn't help but have a big pile of guilt dumped on me. I am being blessed without taking the actions to deserve it. Why is this? I realized that it's a lot like how my mom and dad are. I put off doing the laundry or cleaning my room or my car and still they will make time to help me. It's great, but I realized this is no way to build a firm relationship with anyone, especially not Heavenly Father. I promised myself I would today not put off anything. When the laundry needed to be done, it got done. When the buns needed to be made, I helped make them. I didn't waste my afternoon and it felt great. 

Taylor, like she does every Sunday, reminded me that she took piano and how good she's getting and that she's probably good enough for me to teach her a few songs. Usually I would have replied: "Not today Taylor" or "Maybe in a little while when I'm not so full from dinner", but instead I hopped onto the piano bench and we went through some of our favorites in the children's hymn book. It was adorable.  I showed her how to play by ear a little better and told her to never be afraid of singing out loud. At first she was just humming but by the end of the night she was the only one singing. It was great to see her singing so many by memory. A little while later she walked into my room to see what I was doing. Usually I would've said I was busy to be alone but instead my patriarchal blessing I had just read that morning caught my eye. I felt I should ask her about it. I said: "Tay, do you know what a patriarchal blessing is?" She said no. As I brought it out she was just in awe. She couldn't get over how it was from Heavenly Father. I told her what they were and how they were done and read a few simple parts of it to help her understand. As we talked a feeling of doing something that needed to be done came over me. I realized that with putting things off I often rush through them, and I either miss the point or the whole experience of what I'm doing. I looked at Taylor feeling so grateful for opportunities like this and she turned to me with the biggest of smiles on and said: "Well I'm gonna get one when I'm old enough. You sure are lucky you have this!"

I couldn't help but smile. I really am lucky.