He's Just Not That Into You

"Ok, I have a question, why'd they even invent caller ID? It's like, who is this service even helping? I mean for centuries, okay maybe not centuries, but for like a lot a lot of years people have been answering their phone and not knowing who it is and as far as I can tell no one's died from that. If the police wanna know who placed a call they could trace it. I mean, what am I, the police? This constant obsession with needing to know who's calling all the time it's like so gross. You pick up the phone you find out who it is and you know... All I'm saying is if a guy doesn't call me I would like to preserve the right to call him at 15 minute intervals until he picks up, but if he looks down and sees my number he's gonna think I'm a psycho or something, which I'm not."

I love the show He's Just Not That Into You. When Ben Affleck proposes to Jennifer Aniston I bawl like a child straight from the womb and my heart yearns for my future husband to hide my wedding ring in a pair of ugly fishing pants. Word of advice: watch it with a bowl of ice cream and some tissue. You'll either despise your life or fall madly in love with someone all over again after watching it (both of which I have experienced; definitely prefer the latter).

Anyways, like I've been recently taught in my English class, I applied this to my life looking for personal connections. My first parallel: Young Single Adults and the quest for "the one". This year I haven't really partaken of the dating scene, seeing as how I was dating someone for most of it, so I've been able to watch many courtships bloom but more often than not, girls chasing boys crazily in hopes of eternal bliss. Whilst scrutinizing their actions I couldn't help but notice what girls were doing right and what girls were doing wrong. Let me introduce three main acts that are relationship killers: 

1. The Over Pursuit- I've never had a huge problem with this, mostly because of my deep fear of starting a relationship, but it seems to crush marital/dating hopes. The girl guilty of this transgression struggles with patience. They're the ones who like a boy and after a week or two of hanging out with him its all about "defining the relationship".  Along with such she struggles with a high texting ratio (her # of texts for every one of his); and whenever she has a conversation with said crush it turns into a guilt trip for the guy of why they "never hang out anymore". Frankie says relax over-pursuer... Your man will come.

 2. The Martinelli's Attack- This girl is like drinking a bottle of Martinelli's. At first it's sweet and bubbly but after too much a little Gas-X is needed, haha. Show some whit and some smarts!  Sure flirting is often light and giggly but if you can’t talk about anything besides kissing or where you're ticklish, you will not have a relationship. Make sure you can carry a conversation that's relatively intelligent or the boy will lose interest quickly. And if he can't do anything besides the initial you should probably run away... I asked my dear friend Scotty about this and he said: "A girl should be willing to listen." A real girl can carry on a conversation, not giggle after everything the boy says without even thinking about what was just spoken and then compliment him on his hair because she has no idea where the talk is going . Actually engage in verbal exchange!

3. The Free Milk Giving- You know the saying "why buy the milk when you get the cow for free"? I'm not referring to women as cows but, I think this sentence has some value. These are the girls who get sucked into the "almost relationship". The one where you are constantly wondering if you guys are exclusive but you don't want to rush him because he "doesn't think you guys should have the title of boyfriend and girlfriend". All I can say is this: If he can't committ to being my boyfriend, I can't committ to letting him kiss my lips until he fixes that problem.

a side thought-- why do i love making lists so much?


  1. HAHA you are great!!! I love your list and I loved that movie.

  2. Hi Kels - this is Mom.

    All I can say is you are wise beyond your years. Someday when you actually decide it's time for a 'Mr. Right' he will be very blessed to have you.

  3. O.K. I agree with both Mom and Amy. I just have something to add to the end of Mom's (in 3 years or more) goes very well at the end of her sentence. HEHE! Jokes love ya Kels!

    Angie K

  4. Hi, my husband, Chas, showed me your blog and I like it!

    This is great advice. I wish all the single girls I know would read it.


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