The Remedy To My Midlife Crisis

Some call me a hypochondriac, but I call myself aware. The other day I looked up the signs of a midlife crisis, it made me almost certain that at the ripe age of 20 I'm experiencing such. I've always been old for my age so I'm really not all that surprised by this... Does this mean that I'm dying at 40 then? I never really understood that.


Signs I'm having a Midlife Crisis:

1. Change for the sake of change. I feel so restless lately, like I'm just being idle with my life. I need to switch things up, and fast.

2. Impulsive behavior and impetuous decisions, especially about money and/or their career. Who needs education, I just want to travel the world! New outfit? Sure why not. Rihanna concert instead of paying off school? Ya, throw that in there too. While I'm at it why don't I just go get a degree in philosophy (or something equally as useless), who needs a career!

3. Changes in the sexual relationship. Uhh... I keep having dreams where I'm kissing really old celebrities? Let's just say that counts.

4. Sudden obsession with appearance and spending inordinate amounts of time in the mirror. This is the big one my friends. Yesterday I found a grey hair in the mirror while I was trying to decide what to do with my new acne. Can someone explain this to me? I have never gotten a zit in my life but now I have acne and grey hair to boot. My body doesn't know how old it is; I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM. 

5. Excessive reminiscing about their youth and previous loves. This one can mostly just go to the fact that I'm single and most of my friends aren't.

6. Increase in alcohol consumption. I've been eating more mini-chocolate bars than ever; they're my whiskey.

7. Sleeping more, loss of appetite, and general malaise. I can't wake up before 9 for the life of me and the other day I turned down cake...?


As I wrote that out I realized I might just be a tad bit dramatic. In all seriousness though, can all you people older than twenty explain my sudden depression with life? I have never felt so useless and unmotivated before. It's making me question every choice I make lately. Should I go back to school? Do I still wanna stay in my program? Can I pull off red lipstick? Should I dye my hair brown? Man, life decisions I tell ya!


Just in case this was the real thing though, I followed suit like old men buy fancy new cars, and got one of these. It's really helping; I feel so alive! 

At first, I was skeptical and didn't wanna follow the instragram loving, iface fat using crowd but now I'm a believer. I will never go back to anything else. I feel bad since I got a camera for Christmas and I haven't used it since I got this, but I just love that I can snap a pic that doesn't look half bad whenever and make myself look fat, old, or bald. Plus, what would I do without plants vs. zombies, or solitaire, when I'm crazy bored? I'm really improving in my game too. Look at this solitaire time and moves ladies and gentlemen:

holla!

And here are some pics from the weekend.

We rode a dinghy and I'm still burnt and peeling.

Oh, and P.S. I'm loving scrabble lately. This is an epic game I played against Scott. OMG is right tile board!

Dance Dance and Jo-Hans

My mom is a little dancer. She has this one move she calls "The Stroke Dance". 

Yes, she does mean stroke as in the disturbance of blood flow to the brain that often results in a lack of movement on one side of the body. It's really quite a treat, especially when I'm sitting in my bed at night and she comes in doing it. Enjoy.

I wrote this post about my friend Jordan on her birthday but didn't post it... I felt like it today.

We have been friends since the ripe age of 4 when I moved to Magrath. Jo and I are really alike in some ways and really different in others.

We live just around the corner from each other, our mothers used to dress us identical when we would sing at ward parties, we were always dance duet partners, and with our birthdays 5 days apart we even had joined parties.We were usually around the same height, always using the same phrases, and at times even similar hair, like when we both had perms in grade 4 (cuuuuute),  until Jordan's "hansen brothers" haircut in grade 7 (sorry, i couldn't resist).  I remember when we used to go swimming people would come up and ask us if we were twins. I don't think it's because we look a like but because if you're around us enough you start noticing we have really similar mannerisms. We laugh loud; we snort; we burp like nobody's business.

 I love cats and she's allergic to them, though that never stopped her from still sleeping over even if she'd sneeze the entire time. When we walk into a mall Jordan automatically takes my wallet in her purse because she knows I'll lose it. She's responsible with her things, whereas I can't even carry a purse. Jordan's all about the adventure and I'm the stickler afraid to break the rules.

When something exciting happens all we have to do is text: "I have stories" and the other automatically stops what they're doing to hear the news. Jo has seen me cry more than anyone else, which everyone who knows me knows is a rare thing... until lately (I blame it on relief society!). I remember in high school there was this girl who despised me and one day I was venting to my friends. Jo just simply said, "Well, I don't like her. If she doesn't like you I don't like her." I think to this day she still doesn't like her haha. She's got my back.

I have all my best memories with this girl.

Oh, and P.S. my mom and I saw a movie tonight and there were dance moves like this on it. Direct quote from my mom (in a serious tone): "I really like those dance moves!" haha she's so cute.

Ridin' Dirty

I think my parents feel bad about how pathetic my life is right now because...

Look what my mom brought home yesterday! Remember a while back when everyone bought bikes like this? It drove me nuts because it was such a fad. Now I'm taking back all the eye rolling I did that summer because I have actually ended up loving mine. The seat is so wide and luxurious and I've been day dreaming for the past two days about carrying a little picnic and white kitten in that basket. 

I now understand everyone's love. I'm not following the fad if it's a gift though, right? Oh well, I love my new riiiiide. Yesterday I rode around town feeling very Zooey Deschanel-esque off 500 Days of Summer.

Oh, and P.S. don't mind the gloves, I had been weeding. Or the hair... I haven't showered all week. When all you do is watch the game show network and eat lunch with your mom there isn't much need to.