Yesterday I went on a nice long run at Hawrelak Park. The trees arched over the trail shading it just enough to make the temperature bearable and there were a ton of people out exercising which is always a motivator. I wanted to run farther and faster and found myself smiling stupidly at every runner that went by. When I saw a bridge I went off course and ran on it just for the heck of it and then took a break just hanging out by the river. It was probably the best run I've had in my entire life. I felt great about myself as I leaned over the edge with my head in my hands and just... thought. For some reason one memory came to mind right then and I haven't been able to get it out ever since.
I was sitting in my living room talking to my roommates one night. We were complaining about our bodies and all the things we eat. One of them said, "Well, I shouldn't say anything when I just had cake yesterday." I piped in, "I know, I had 3 pieces I'm such a pig." She turned to me as if what she was about to say was a common known fact.
"Ya, but Kelsey your body loves you."
The more I think about it the more there is a muster of emotions; mostly guilt. I have complained at some point about every single part of me. You might not believe me, but I promise I have made it possible. Just last week I found myself whining about my chubby knee caps (is that even possible?). I've cried over being too skinny (just in the chest department haha) and I've cried over being too fat. There are days when I eat everything under the Sun and then somedays I'm too busy and just forget to eat. I'll go on running spurts where all I want to do is bike and run and then other times I'll sit on my plump white bottom for months on end watching Friends reruns. To say I'm a little inconsistent is a bit of an understatement. Thankfully, its put up with the chocolate and the chips and hidden it where no one can really notice. It's pulled through when I decide that I suddenly want to be active and think I can run 5k right off the bat (I've only barfed once! haha). It still manages to play with kids all day even when I stay up late watching Milo and Otis, or something equally as random, though I know I have to work in 4 hours.
Despite all of these ups and downs I've finally realized my body has loved me, and am embarrassed that for so long I never loved it back. So, let's just have the love be mutual, ok body? I promise not to waste anymore time taking you for granted.
Oh, and P.S. I blame these guys for polluting how young girls think of themselves. Barf.
And let me just say it's good to be blogging again.