7.07.2010

Paranoid Much?

 When I was little I took what I saw and heard literally. This lead to such intense paranoia that the habits that developed from it are still very much in my life, and it's really annoying. I don't know why but lately I've noticed them quite a bit. These habits aren't easy to break like biting my nails, in fact I think they show the OCD child that I was. Let me give you some prime examples:

Paranoia #1- I never ever will change in front of a mirror or stare in it for too long when I'm by myself. Not because I don't like looking at myself, I actually kind of do (I promise I'm not super vain?), but because after watching the Truman Show when I was 10 I went around for months thinking my life was a hit reality TV show; I guess I didn't want my viewers thinking I was vapid or something? I dunno. I was kind of weird.

Paranoia #2- I have a fear of showers. Not showering, the verb, but the noun. After watching all those scary movies when I was little I feel on edge every time I step into one. I'm either: a) going to get stabbed, b) going to have the girl from The Grudge attack me, or c) have a spider come from the ceiling, bite me, and then die from it's venom. At least there is comfort in knowing that the aliens from Signs die when they have water thrown on them... Maybe I should lay off the movies?

Paranoia #3- I remember being left home alone one night and watching YTV casually while accessorizing polly pockets when Goosebumps came on. It was the worst one of all; the one with the ventriloquist dummy. After that a movie came on where actions figures are actually alive because of some chip the makers put in them (anybody remember that one's name?). I couldn't stop watching, and as time went on I grew more and more afraid. For a long time after that I never neglected any of my toys. I used to pull them all out and make sure I played with each one even for just a few seconds. I remember being crippled with fear that if I didn't play with these toys they would come and scare me at night while I was sleeping. To this day sometimes I look around my room and feel uneasy when I realize I haven't used some of my stuff. Don't worry though, I then realize I'm an adult.

I sound like quite a wack job don't I? I promise I'm normal... I just had an extremely active imagination as a child.

1 comment:

  1. Kelsey, Konner and I just read that book. It's called Goosebumps Horror land Revenge of the living dummy. He loved it. Try watching a movie called mirrors and then you really wont be looking into the mirror. OOOHHH I just got chills.

    Angie K

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