Classroom Stories

So I'm teaching a 20-2 class, right? I just have to write on here so I can tell more people how hilarious this situation is. The class is split into four quadrants or cliques. The first quadrant contains the people who reallllllly want to be in the academic stream and are working their butt off to do it. The second quadrant are the people who are smart enough to do anything they wanted, but would rather do anything BUT work that is school related. The third are the people who don't know what day it is and often times smell a lot like weed. The fourth, and the one I'm having the most difficulty with, is the jersey shore section. They all wear really nice jeans, are really friendly, and have either spiked dark hair or a big poof. Students who are in lower level classes are usually a lot more down to Earth and real with teachers. If they don't like something you've planned, they tell you how boring or dumb it is. If they like you then they want to know all about your life. So far I've convinced them my name is Renesme (hahaha) and that I'm 30 with two kids to keep them from adding me on Facebook... They pretend to buy it. I really think these kids are great, but seriously I just have had the strangest things happen with them. I'll give you a minor example....

So on Friday we were reading as a class (we're doing Macbeth right now). I put everyone in a reading circle so I could keep an eye on them and get people who hide in the corners a bit more involved. Everything was going great! People who don't usually read were, everyone seemed to be reading along and cellphone use was fairly minimal. As I'm sitting by some students reading I hear this soft, but obvious smooching sound. I turn to this boy, we'll call him Pete, who is kissing the girl's hand next to him. I roll my eyes and ignore it. A little while later the sound gets louder and I turn to see he's moving up the girl's arm now, all the while kissing and whispering sweet nothings. This guy was wheelin! I was in such shock I just sat there as I heard, "Yo, baby girl, Imma love you and kiss you all day." Suddenly the whole class is staring at this couple with me, probably not with the same shocked look, but none the less transfixed that this is actually happening in a classroom. The girl is giggling and Pete is pretty much ready to go for the make out when one boy out of nowhere says, "Yo, Miss Scott you betta intervene or there be some intercourse soon!"

I thank the boy for using the word intercourse and separate the two. Pete turns to me, as angry as can be, and says, "Miss Scott, ain't you ever heard that when a boy's wheelin' you best not be stealin'?"

Sorry Pete, but I just can't allow an illegitimate child on my watch...